We had to give up swinging because of the sexually transmitted diseases, but I liked getting close to women, and I have a craving, rooted in my distant past, for constant affirmation of my gentleness and trustworthiness. D/s play seemed the ideal accommodation, so I took up the hobby of tying and teasing women.
The same holds true of my use of eye contact now as in my swinging days. I look into my partners, intensely and relentlessly. It's so intense that many of them reach orgasm from that alone, though obviously there's some self-selection at work. I enjoy it, and it doesn't make me the least bit uncomfortable. But still, I can't use eye contact casually in social interaction the way a neurotypical would.
I wonder, as anyone might, about the experiences of other Aspies and their partners. What's it like for you?