I had plagued the poor man with what his expectations, rules, anything in regards to me and our relationship were. One day he arrived home and stated, "where's my coffee?" I had made some the day before because had called ahead telling me when he would be home and asked to have some ready. He had not stated that he would like to have it ready everyday. I was crushed.
I had asked him how he would like me to serve him his coffee. His response, " In a mug" Doh! * smacks forehead*
I began to loose patience as my frustration reached a new plateau. I am ashamed to admit it but heated words actually flew from my mouth at one moment before my mind could comprehend the possible ramifications. In essence my mouth was writing cheques my ass was not willing to cash.
After apologies and explanations I began to find a curious tendency. Sometimes key words somehow seemed to snap his full attention back to the conversation at hand and the reason behind them more then a focus on just the words.
I searched for more information and presented my case once more but this time armed with more understanding of what it was I desired. Structure, Security, routine. Strong words with big meanings. It seemed to have flipped a light switch with him. His mind seems to work on four or five different levels at any given time that gaining his full attention is sometimes a challenge. I don't know if the words were a trigger for him but our communication has improved ten fold. Perhaps it's allin how I present my case. I do know a thesaurus is a precious commodity for me and that communicating is something I need to work on myself as well.